Audition by Katie Kitamura: book review

Audition by Katie Kitamura

*preface: the way I've seen this book talked about before interviews sees what happens at the second half of the book as a spoiler. I, personally, don't think you can have a meaningful and honest discussion about what this book does without acknowledging the entire second half, so I'm going to talk about it. You've been warned.*

Overview: The actress at the center of the novel is in the middle of a career high in middle age, about to open an incredibly successful play. She lives in a nice apartment with her husband and has a fairly settled, if not boring, life. And then she's approached by a 25ish-year-old man named Xavier at the theater. He wants to know if she could possibly be his biological mother. She explains this is impossible, but Xavier remains in her orbit as the director's assistant and intrigues the actress, making her image if her life had played out differently. In the second half of the book, the script flips and suddenly the narrative progresses from this alternate reality—that Xavier is her son that she raised and she's always been his mother. Through this, the novel explores themes of motherhood, of grappling with middle age, and conquering the roads not taken. Overall: 4

Characters: 4 The actress is an interesting, emotionally rich character. She's observant about the small details in the world around her and very attuned to her environment and specific place in it. She understands, in the first half of the novel, the shaky place her relationship rests on despite its placid veneer because of her past affairs. She understands that normalcy isn't long guaranteed but is fought for by both partners. In the second half of the book, their personalities shift in small but impactful ways to make room for this third person that rooted in their lives. The novel gets to explore whether these shifts are for better or worse and does emphasize the ways that having a child keeps a marriage closer in appearance but can deepen the emotional distance in a really interesting way. It's a bit of a warped looking glass effect on everyone that allows Kitamura to toy with new dimensionality. Still, this is a very brief novel and each distinct part gets less than 100 pages, so there is a certain amount that is surface level by necessity. But even the briefly mentioned side characters do have a sense of inhabited depth that keeps the feelings of limitation at bay. 

Plot: 4 This isn't a book big on plot, but it has the necessary depth in the writing and style to carry that. Watching the actress observe the small details of the world and her craft is what makes the book enjoyable. I think I find this to be the most successful "crisis of a middle aged woman" novel yet, in the growing cannon that includes books like Crush and All Fours. Granted, I like this book and like neither of those. Maybe that's because Kitamura addresses these issues from the side. There's no flashy plot points milking affairs or toying with polyamory for the shock factor. The mentions of the affairs are in passing and so is the discontent in the marriage. The narrator gets to explore multiple realities around having children or not and ends up feeling the same discontent and subjugation in the second half of the novel that these other books explore rather loudly. These themes feel better integrated into the fabric and worldview of the book and make for a much more subtle and interesting commentary. 

Unfortunately, though, I much preferred the first half of the book, which was entirely gripping. I wish we'd gotten to stay in that version of the world for the entire book, though that is requesting an entirely different novel looking to make a different point. The ending takes on a strange, surrealist scene that is a bit hard to track with the rest of the narrative and leads to a somewhat unsatisfying and confusing resolution. I found the last twenty pages to be somewhat of a slog, which was unfortunate considering how I'd flown through the book to that point. It felt a bit like Kitamura wasn't sure how to end a story that exists more than it happens, and I don't think it needed to be so flashy or strangely dramatic. 

Writing: 4.5 Kitamura's prose is breathtaking. It's what's made her a literary celebrity after all. I loved Intimacies and found the voice so unique, and that carries here. The book is extraordinarily slim. I'd love to know it's word count because even with the formatter pulling out all the stops with wide margins, large gaps at the chapter headings, small pages, and ample line spacing, the book still comes in just shy of 200 pages. I hope this book makes the argument to publishers that shorter books are plenty appealing. The combination of the lightness and space in Kitamura's prose and the actually short word count makes the book easy to finish in a sitting or two which is so refreshing. It also helps the very quiet, subtle narratives she sets off to explore. Some stories can only be sustained for a limited time, and I see too many books that feel stretched till the holes appear to appease publishing conventions. Audition, however, is exactly what it is. A character study and a reflection of midlife and the new questions it presents when it feels like all the "what ifs" have already been answered for.